D e s e r t E x p o s u r e
February 2012
Driven Crazy
Lightcap takes on the driver's license controversy.
Batten down the hatches!
It is a well-documented fact that every driver on the road is a complete, blathering idiot, with the exception of you. I mean, how many times have you found yourself in a sputtering rage over the mouth-breathing windshield ape who runs a red light in front of you? How often have you jammed your brake pedal through the floor to avoid colliding with a seven-dollar car that hasn't been graced with operating brake lights since the Carter administration? The road is filled with morons (except for you, of course) and it's a mystery where these people got their driver's licenses. Thankfully, they don't have to rely on Cracker Jack boxes anymore — they can still get a driver's license from the state of New Mexico, even if they aren't from the United States!
To those strict constitutionalists who confuse "illegal" with "against the law," it might be puzzling, but it's true: Undocumented immigrants can get a valid New Mexico driver's license in our state. Foreign nationals who want to obtain US identification no longer have to rely on seedy, back-alley document forgers to get their papers; they just have to rely on a seedy, back-alley Motor Vehicle Department offices like the rest of us.
As part of his diligent campaign to become the Supreme Bonehead of the Galactic Empire, then-Governor Bill Richardson decided in 2003 that it'd be cool to issue driver's licenses to illegal immigrants, because they like to party. State legislators, eager to get to La Fonda in time for Bottomless Margarita Night, signed off on the idea before hitting the door. Since then, more than 80,000 driver's licenses have been issued to foreign nationals.
Governor Susana Martinez isn't a fan of Governor Richardson's program. She tried to repeal the law last year, but met with a wall of resistance by people claiming to represent New Mexicans. And by "New," I believe they mean, "recently arrived without official welcome." And by "Mexicans," they mean people from south of the border.
Although by all accounts Governor Martinez seems to be Hispanic, she was labeled a racist (not likely) and a heartless conservative (redundant). Representatives from totally objective organizations such as "Somos Un Pueblo Unido" and the "Mexican American Legal Defense Fund" claim that giving licenses to illegal immigrants is way smart because it encourages them to get auto insurance and… well, that's about all they've got. But they are pretty sure a repeal would be racist and anti-Mexican.
Unfortunately, insurance isn't high on the list of these newly licensed foreigners (or the average New Mexico citizen, either). According to a study released by the Insurance Research Council in April 2011, New Mexico has the second-highest rate of uninsured motorists at 26%. Neighboring Arizona, which limits driver's licenses to actual Americans, is at 12%.
Surely, somebody has a solid reason we should give license to illegal immigrants, right? Tragically, according to a 2010 poll by the Albuquerque Journal, you don't. 72% of New Mexicans are against it. When the Martinez administration sent out 10,000 letters to these foreign drivers asking for documentation, a third of them were returned as undeliverable. Fraud? Nah.
So what now? Well, the same legislators who sponsored the bill last year to repeal this law are proposing the same legislation again, and the vocal minority is already hauling out the dead, bloated carcasses of their same nonsensical arguments against repeal. Racist blah blah, profile yada yada, discriminatory yap yap.
I double-checked just to be sure that the scotch hasn't eaten too many holes in my tender cerebellum, and sure enough: Illegal is still defined as "forbidden by law or statute; unlawful, illicit." So to be clear, Gov. Richardson agreed to give official, legal identification documents to individuals who are on our soil "illegally" according to federal law. There is no benefit to the people or the government of New Mexico to give official documents to these individuals, and there is evidence of widespread fraud already taking place. Law-enforcement officials worry that this program can lead to human trafficking, organized crime and national security concerns, all things that are classified as growth industries in our country. Talk about an unorthodox way to create economic opportunity!
As a sweet bonus for the law-abiding, legal residents of New Mexico, if the state doesn't get this ironed out soon, our licenses will no longer work as a form of federal identification. That means the next time you go to the airport, you'll have to produce your passport just to fly to Illinois. Bienvenidos a los Estatos Unidos, paisano.
New Mexico has a long and glorious history of relaxed standards on the road. Drunk driving, expired tags, no insurance — anything generally goes. As a native, I have learned to adapt to this behavior, and even find it amusing at times. But giving driver's licenses to undocumented aliens is tantamount to giving gypsies the keys to your home when you leave town. It's time for Santa Fe to forego the Bottomless Margaritas and take care of business.
Henry Lightcap flashes his ID in Las Cruces.