D e s e r t E x p o s u r e
December 2009
Desert Diary
Page: 2Life on the farm We really didn't see this one coming. Thanks to GeeRichard for this yarn with a kick:
"When I was a traveling farm-supplies salesman, I came upon a farmer plowing with a horse. I discovered, when I stopped to make a sales call, that he was not Amish. I asked him why he plowed with animals when small tractors were inexpensive.
"'I grew up doing things the hard way, and I like it,' came the reply.
"As we talked, he carried a bucket to a well, pumped it full and dumped it in the animal trough. 'Don't you have running water?' I asked.
"'Nah, like I said, I like doing things the hard way.'
"This went on for a few minutes; each time, the same answer: 'I like doing things the hard way.'
"Then a couple of his children walked by and I quipped: 'I suppose you're going to tell me you did that the hard way?'
"'Yep,' he said. 'Standing up in a canoe.'"
The great outdoors There's a lesson to be learned from this yarn, sent by Ned Ludd, but we're not going to spoil it for you by spelling it out:
"One day, Joe, Bob and Dave were hiking in a wilderness area when they came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea how to do so.
"Joe prayed to God, saying, 'Please, God, give me the strength to cross this river.' Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and Joe was able to swim across the river in about two hours, although he almost drowned a couple of times.
"Seeing this, Dave prayed to God, saying, 'Please, God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river.' Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
"Bob had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God, saying, 'Please, God, give me the strength and the tools, and the intelligence, to cross this river.' Poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge."
Kids say the darnedest things Finally, JackB returns with this tale of little Johnny, which definitely has a moral at the end:
Send your favorite jokes, anecdotes, puns and tall tales to Desert Diary, PO Box 191, Silver City, NM 88062, fax 534-4134, email diary@desertexposure.com The best submission each month gets a brand-new Desert Exposure mouse pad, scientifically proven to take the strain out of emailing jokes to Desert Diary."The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end.
"The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. 'Johnny, do you have a story to share?'
"'Yes, ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed right in the middle of 20 enemy troops.
"'She shot 15 of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, until the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
'''Good heavens!' said the shocked teacher. 'What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?'
'''Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's drinking.'"
Postcards from the edge We continue to be delighted with the response to our call for traveling readers to take snapshots of themselves holding "the biggest little paper in the Southwest" (and apologize to those we haven't gotten to yet!).
This month's first photo comes from Karl and Barbara Giese of Silver City, snapped "at the shrine to NFL football — Lambeau Field, the Packers' stadium. We visited the stadium and Packers Hall of Fame while visiting family in Green Bay."
Our second snapshot was sent in by Pamela J. Smith of Las Cruces, who writes: "This very familiar view of the Eiffel Tower in Paris was taken June 24. I was with a group of singers with the Mesilla Valley Chorale. We had been invited over two years ago to participate in a music festival in LeMans, France. (Yes, that is where the Grand Prix takes place, but fortunately not that week!) There are over 60 singers in the Chorale, and over 40 were able to go to France. We stayed with host families in Sevigne L'Eveque and were royally received and treated. We presented two concerts, one in the lovely old church in Sevigne, and the other in a concert hall in LeMans. Both were packed and enthusiastically received, with standing ovations and encores. Our theme 'One World' proved that music is truly an international language. We stayed with our hosts for six days, when some returned to the US, while others went to Germany, Austria, Italy and about 20 of us went to Paris for four days. where we had a dizzying round of sightseeing and tours.
"I had lived in Paris for three years many years ago, so it was fascinating to me to see both the familiar and new sights. Paris in June is packed with tourists, but I was impressed with the cleanliness, order and overall spacious layout of both the old and newer parts of the city. The 'hop-on, hop-off' option for the bus, plus Metro passes made transportation easy and quick, and the music festival influence lived on as part of a national celebration. There were musicians on the Metro, impromptu jazz sessions in the small neighborhood parks, and generally a feeling of celebration and festivity, leaving us all with many uplifting and wonderful memories."
Whether you're headed to Gay Paree or just to Paris, Texas, take along a copy
of Desert Exposure and
get a photo of yourself with it "on location." Send to Desert Diary, PO Box
191, Silver City, NM 88062 or email diary@desertexposure.com