D e s e r t E x p o s u r e
December 2009
Getting Dentures
Page: 2Time flew. Boy, did it ever. Soon, I was in Dickerson's office with several other hard cases, none of whom was smiling.
I was hauled into an exam room, strapped down again, and once I stopped snarling and snapping, the good doctor entered, took a three-minute look at my sorry piehole, and announced pretty much the same thing as Day: Your gums are shot, we can nurse this along, but eventually everything will have to go.
Not yet freaked out, because I knew I would have more time to skirt this issue, I set up more appointments with both dentists, in order to be fitted for dentures.
But because I am an expert, as most Libras are, at putting things off until the last minute, I was again happy as a lark. The big day wasn't for two more months, and surely by then, they would find a cure for periodontal disease, invent a way to allow teeth to strengthen and grow back, and I would have time to pick the shade of white that I wanted my newly revitalized choppers to be painted.
Two months go fast when you aren't paying that close of attention.
It wasn't long before I found myself again in Dickerson's office, debating at the last minute whether I really wanted to do this. I had envisioned and made plans for the worst, everything except death, which I was about to welcome on that day.
Finally, resigned to the fact that I could survive this episode, I said, "Start the ball rolling, Dr. Dickerson." Not really, but it sounds braver than the whimpering and sniveling that I really did.
I was attached to various wires and tubes, given a breathing apparatus, and prepared myself to experience pain similar to giving childbirth through one's mouth.
I blathered on for a few seconds until the sedatives took hold, and that was that. My last memory is that of Dickerson adjusting his crescent wrench.
I awoke a bit over two hours later. The kindly dental assistant who was with me rested a gentle hand on my shoulder as I tried to get up, which wasn't a smart move on my part. I had expected massive pain, swelling and large amounts of blood, but to my relief and amazement, I was pretty much pain-free, only somewhat swollen, and still bleeding just a little. Gone were my own teeth, replaced with what is called an "immediate denture," which is self-explanatory.
My wife drove me home, I think, and I spent most of the rest of the day napping and sipping liquids, none of which had alcohol.
Dickerson warned that the third and fourth days after the surgery would be the worst, but to my amazement, I truly and honestly experienced little pain, other than that of the denture resting on my stitched-up gums. I took only a few of the pain pills he had prescribed, pondering selling the rest at a tidy profit on eBay. Aleve became my drug of choice as I got used to this life-changing event, which didn't allow me to sneeze, cough, eat or drink without modification of some kind. The cartoons about someone sneezing with a loose denture that soon flies across the room are very real after all.
As I write this, it has now been one full month since the procedure. I have been back and forth to both Day and Dickerson, and am very pleased to report that with their knowledge, TLC and support, I am doing much better than I thought. I also extend these kudos to both staffs. I'm now a candidate for dental implants, which will make life much easier until they do invent a way to grow real teeth.
I'm learning to chew again. I have lost seven pounds, a bonus I didn't count on, but now really enjoy. Although I was hoping that a new smile would also force my bald spot to sprout, that hasn't happened. I'm also learning to talk again and have learned a lot about how one's body works in such situations.
The other thing I learned was that even though I steered clear of sugar and processed foods, things that are not good for anyone's dental health, no matter what you hear to the contrary, the leading cause of periodontal disease is bad genes.
It seems that the disease is highly hereditary. If your maw and paw eat soup through a straw and have a lack of lips, you might want to be very, very careful with your own dental health, because there are no plans for a remake of Deliverance or "The Beverly Hillbillies" at this time.
Senior writer Jeff Berg will buy a new book of soup recipes with the money he receives from this article.