D e s e r t E x p o s u r e
August 2009
Desert Diary
Page: 2Paying for the free-enterprise system. . . Think long and hard about this tale of capitalism in our time, brought to you courtesy of Aletteration:
"Almost every Independence Day I am reminded of this village that had an impressive World War II cannon in the park at the entrance to the burg. The council voted to hire the town's war hero to keep the cannon polished and the grounds around it clean and bright.
"He was well-paid by the village for his work, and did so well he was given regular yearly raises. The fellow was not only diligent but he was thrifty.
"So much so that after only a few years, he was able to buy a cannon and go into business for himself."
Isn't technology wonderful. . .? This e-missive was sent in by Bill in the Mimbres, who adds, "I hope I got the correct email address. I was very careful." You'll see why:
"A South Dakota couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they'd spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left South Dakota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
"Meanwhile, in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages of condolence from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen, which read:
"'To: My Loving Wife
"'Subject: I've Arrived
"'I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
"'PS Sure is hot down here!'"
Speaking of computers, here's another yarn, successfully emailed by Old Grumps:
"I was having trouble with my computer. So I called John, the 11-year-old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. John clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
"John replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
"I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
"John grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'
"'No,' I replied.
"'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
"So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
"I used to like the little brat."
Losing the battle of the sexes, final round. . . Completing our tour of the gender-wars battlefield, we wrap up with this one from Jess Hossinaround in Arenas Valley, entitled "The secret to a lasting Italian marriage":
"At Saint Mary's Catholic Church, they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the priest asked Mario, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
"Mario replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I've a-tried to treat-a her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is that I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
"The priest responded, 'Mario, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary.'
"Mario proudly replied, 'I'ma gonna go get her.'"
Send your favorite jokes, anecdotes, puns and tall tales to Desert Diary, PO Box 191, Silver City, NM 88062, fax 534-4134, email diary@desertexposure.com The best submission each month gets a brand-new Desert Exposure mouse pad, scientifically proven to take the strain out of emailing jokes to Desert Diary.
Postcards from the edge. . . More "postcards" this month from our traveling readers, taking us up on our standing invitation to snap and send us a photo of yourself on a trip, holding a copy of "the biggest little paper in the Southwest."
First up is Helen Lemal from Silver City, who writes, "I recently got back from an extensive trip to Australia and New Zealand. This picture is from Melbourne, taken a week or so after the Australian Open. I'm a local tennis player." She adds, "It was fun trying to explain to the others on the trip why I needed to take these."
The second photo comes from Patricia Taber of Silver City, at the Lee Metcalf Wildlife Refuge in Stevensville, Montana. We thought it might provide a cooling vision in the heat of summer!
Whether you're headed Down Under or Over There, take along a copy of Desert Exposure and get a photo of yourself with it "on location." Send to Desert Diary, PO Box 191, Silver City, NM 88062 or email diary@desertexposure.com