D e s e r t E x p o s u r e
June
2009
A Hate-Love Affair with Horses
Wishing you had one — until you do.
I struggled up the steep mountain on a trail that was more fit for beast than it was for me. My feet were swollen and sore, my thighs ached dully and my breathing came in labored bursts as the unrelenting sun beat upon my head.
Dang, I sure wished that I was upon a horse at that moment!
I've always been an explorer and wanderer; it is the genetic legacy of my Welsh-Irish-Celtic ancestors. But as I approach my mid-sixties, it is getting increasingly harder to pursue my pastimes: My ankles hurt, I have knee problems, my breathing is shorter in gasps and my hateful waist keeps expanding to unknown boundaries even though I hike three to 10 miles a week (and not on a graded, oval track)!
"A horse would be perfect in some respects," I think, but then reality comes flooding back to my somewhat feeble brain and common sense counterpoints the thought.
Let me first say that horses and mules are the perfect transportation for exploring remote portions of the outback, especially if you have a pack animal along, too. If a body wants to explore the Gila or Leopold wildernesses, these beasts are the preferred mode of transportation.
But, as my common sense has often reminded me, they are very expensive! I'd need a pasture of at least 10 acres, which will quickly be consumed of all edible vegetation. Horses and mules eat a lot, and that translates into copious amounts of hay, oats and other grains once the forage is depleted. Thanks to ethanol, these alternate food sources are fetching some handsome prices that will surely rise even more as grain and corn go to fueling vehicles.
And lest we forget, all of that waste biproduct produced by animals must go somewhere and be dealt with in the short run!
Let's see, I'd need a horse trailer big enough for two horses (riding and a pack animal), and that means buying a very expensive four-wheel-drive truck tough enough and big enough to pull all of that with. That translates into more money for fuel and upkeep — and gas prices are done coming down.
I'd need a good, quality saddle, one that is custom fit to my particular backside, and they ain't cheap either! Then there are the bridle and bit, saddlebags, a leather rifle scabbard, a quality horse blanket, etc., etc. Whew!
I'm told that routine medical treatment per year for a horse will run between $1,000 and $1,500. And then on top of that will be the farrier bills for shoeing every three months!
No wonder I chose an ATV to get me around, even though the wilderness is off-limits. But I have none of the above expenses except for a much smaller four-wheel-drive truck and a very small trailer that is light as a feather.
Besides all of that, there is the safety factor when riding a horse. Almost every experienced rider I know has had a bad accident from horseback riding, and one of those was a long-time rancher!
Bob got thrown and busted his head open on a rock and nearly died. Pete was mounting a favored horse when it bucked just as he got his leg over; he nearly died from a busted pelvis. Preacher got kicked in the chest and ended up with broken ribs for his bother.
Me? I've never had near-death experiences, but I have had my share of other tales in 19 years of riding. Back in 1989 I met the Preacher and he did nothing but hunt from horseback; he owned a "spare horse" named Kip that was my ride. Now, Kip was old and mostly gentle, but he was rider-savvy, and right off he recognized that I was a "dude."
Every chance he got, Kip would try to run me under a low-hanging branch to brush me off of his back, and he often succeeded. One time the Preacher turned in his saddle to see my feet where my head shoulda been!
And in all of these years I never have gotten a handle on how to comfortably ride at a trot. My butt is always coming down as the horse is coming up! I got a lot of good advice from a passel of experience riders, but it was all to no avail.
Because of that, I came to appreciate riding mules. They seem to glide beneath me, and not bounce, and are always sure-footed, while some hosses have been known to stumble with me atop.
But alas, I've had trouble with mules, too. There was the time when I was mountain-lion hunting up near Emory Pass and there were still deep patches of snow about. The owner of said mule had left the dally rope on the critter and it had fallen down; the danged mule got its right front hoof tangled in the loop. The mule panicked and began to buck. We were in a deep snowdrift and I decided to bail off on the left side. Just as my posterior hit the ground, the left rear leg of the mule came down on my right knee. Ouch! By golly, but that hurt!
I had a very uncomfortable time atop that mule for the next 10 miles. But he wasn't done with his tricks: He liked to stand still and permit me to mount, but just as my right leg would swing over the back, that mule would burst into a gallop. I never fell off, but I sure did a lot of praying.
My last ride on a horse came 18 months ago. I was invited on a bear hunt just two days after a bad back injury, and I accepted. We rode 19 miles all day and I was in sheer agony the entire time.
Thankfully, my mount was a big gentle black critter named Rocky and he never once opposed me in any way. Had I had that horse way back in 1989, I'd probably be a confirmed horseback rider and owner, but I didn't.
Once I was done with Rocky, my back was so bad that I was laid down (on the floor) for six long weeks, and thus I vowed to myself and to the Lord to never set my butt on another such beast! The "Rockster" was great; I was not!
So there you have it — some of my logic and some of my horror, all funny now, and you get my drift.
So ends my dubious career with horse and mule; I will never ride again! But as I hoof it over some long and rough mountain and my 64-year-old body again screams in terror, and sweat is pouring into my eyes, you'd best believe I will be saying over and over, "I wish I had a horse, I wish I had a horse."
As always, keep the sun forever at your back, the wind forever in your face and may the Forever God bless you too!