2008 Writing D e s e r t E x p o s u r e
September
2008
Desert Diary Page: 2
Kids do the darnedest things. . . Aren't those little ones cute? Then again, there's this sent along by JackB:
"One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe two and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift.
"Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea,' which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such 'yummy tea,' my mom came home.
"My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of 'tea' for Daddy. She watched him drink it up.
"Then she said (as only a mother would know), 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'"
Postcards from the edge. . . Still happily catching up with the backlog of reader photos from near and far, we again present two pictures.
The first, from Esperanza Quintero, was shot after a visit to her family in Colombia: "On my way back from the Atlantic coast of Colombia, I stopped in Bogota and had this picture taken. I am the one on the right and on the left is my Colombian girlfriend Silvana Pezzano-De Armas. The photo was taken in front of the Capitolio Nacional in the Plaza de Bolivar. "We had so much fun having the pictures taken by a local photographer. The people around were looking at us as if we were a little crazy for having our photo taken with a newspaper in front of us."
Crazy? Heck, no more so than Barbara Alpher, who sent the photo below of herself in Helsingborg, Sweden. Being half-Swedish ourselves (the left half, we think), we took particular pleasure in seeing Desert Exposure make the trip all the way to our ancestral homeland. Going places? Take us with you on your next trip and send home a snapshot of yourself holding "the biggest little paper in the Southwest." Send to Desert Diary, PO Box 191, Silver City, NM 88062, or by email to diary@desertexposure.com |
Annals of inebriation, round II. . . With still more scorn for the misuse of intoxicating beverages, we pass along the following from Writer Bill:
"A couple of strangers are drinking at a cliffside bar overlooking the ocean. Both of them look a little drunk. One says to the other, 'Hey, look at the wind whipping up the side of that cliff. It moves pretty fast. I'll bet I could jump off the ledge, catch the wind in my coat, and get lifted right back up to the bar!'
"'No way,' says the other guy. 'You'd fall to your death.'
"'Well, I'm going to try it!' says the first, and at that he walks over, stands on the ledge, and leaps off in a swan dive. Sure enough, he comes sailing back up in no time, and lands on his feet right in front of the bar.
"'I can't believe it!' says the second guy. 'That's impossible.' So the first drunk does it again: He jumps off the cliff, catches the wind in his coat, and comes sailing back to the bar.
"'Go ahead,' he says, 'try it. It's great!'
"'Well, OK, I'm just drunk enough to give it a go,' says the second fellow. So he climbs the ledge and leaps off the cliff, only to fall screaming to his death on the rocks below.
"The first guy walks back to the bar and sits down to his drink.
"The bartender comes over and says to him, 'You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes when you've been drinking, Superman.'"
Stupid is as stupid does. . . We couldn't resist closing with one more from Old Grumps, with apologies to any hillbillies who happen to read this:
"After their 11th child, a hillbilly couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
"The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.'
"The hillbilly said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'
"'Trust me,' said the doctor.
"So the hillbilly went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4', 5' — at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and continued counting on his other hand.
"The hillbilly couple had no more children after that."
Send your favorite jokes, puns and ponderings to: Desert Diary, PO Box 191,
Silver City, NM 88062, fax 534-4134, email diary@desertexposure.com
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